- Lindsay Lohan dropped new music, proving that she’s still as crazy as a box of frogs.
- “Back to Me” is two-and-a-half minutes of self-absorbed nonsense for the Instagram era.
- Lindsay, we’ve got enough problems right now without our ears exploding.
Lindsay Lohan was once a child star in her prime, raking in millions and starring in hits like The Parent Trap and Mean Girls. As she moved into adulthood, the actress went from squeaky-clean starlet to a bankrupt jailbird flailing to make money any way she can.
Over the years, LiLo has tried everything to get back on top, desperately clutching at straws to stay relevant. From dating Mark Ronson’s sister Sam to belting out a wobbly tune or two, Linds has left no stone unturned.
Unfortunately, despite her best attempts, this jailbird doesn’t sing like a canary.
Lindsay Lohan’s Music Is An Insult to Anyone With Ears
After doing the world a solid and not releasing any new music for over 12 years, Lindsay has recently decided to dazzle us all with her talent once more. When I say talent, I mean diarrhea of the mind over a painfully monotonous beat.
Her latest track, “Back to Me,” details…well, not much of anything, to be honest. Lindsay caterwauls:
I used to blame me when s*** got crazy, I can’t think too much about what they say. And now these Sundays got me feeling like Mondays, I know I drink too much, but it’s okay.
Before going on to dub herself contagious:
My life is full of ripped up pages. I’ve been weak, contagious. But I’m coming back, coming back to me.
Contagious? We all know Lindsay has bedded more Hollywood stars than John Mayer. Maybe she left her lovers with more than just bad memories.
Sorry Lindsay, No One Cares About ‘Back to Me’
Aside from the fact that Lindsay’s singing is outrageously out of tune and poorly timed, there’s another glaring problem with her music. No one cares!
At this point, Lindsay is setting her self up for ridicule, but with little…