Every Single Astros Sign Stealer Deserves a Lifetime Ban

  • The 2017 Houston Astros’ sign-stealing operation was cheating.
  • Lifetime bans need to be handed out to those that developed, ran, and authorized the high-tech sign-stealing operation.
  • Those most deserving of lifetime bans are Alex Cora, Carlos Beltran, A.J. Hinch, and Jeff Luhnow

The Houston Astros are embroiled in a sign-stealing scandal, a controversy that is so outrageous that lifetime bans seem to be the only option. The 2017 World Championship team is undoubtedly implicated. The 2018 team as well as the 2019 team that just made it to the World Series are also under a high level of scrutiny.

The Scheme

Sign-stealing wouldn’t usually call for lifetime bans, but in this case it is warranted because of the extensive use of technology. The 2017 World Champion Houston Astros, or Houston Asterisks as they are now commonly referred to on the internet, are accused of setting up long-range cameras in the outfield of their home ballpark. These cameras would relay a feed to a monitor. This monitor was then placed in the hallway between the dugout and the team clubhouse. Depending on the sign displayed by the opposing team’s catcher, a trash can lid was banged to alert the hitter at the plate which pitch was inbound. At this point, it seems the trash can lid was banged to indicate if the pitch in question was an offs-peed pitch.

The trash can banging was very suspicious, and evidence of it has been pointed out by many Twitter users.

The Asterisks were then forced to come up with progressively sneakier methods. Reddit user u/meme-engineer, who somehow correctly predicted the sign-stealing scandal 21 days before the story broke on The Athletic, has even suggested that some…

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